Love it or loathe it, reality TV is going nowhere fast. But producers are faced with the constant challenge of keeping their content fresh to keep viewers interested. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall during the pitch meeting for FOX's Labor Of Love: "It's like The Bachelorette but… with a baby!"
The concept is thus: Kristy Katzmann is our new dating show's leading lady. She will put 15 men through an array of physical and social challenges (one involving a camping scenario and an ambush by a person in a bear costume, LOL) to not only compete for her heart but assert themselves as her ultimate baby daddy. It's been labelled "appalling" by some, "terrible" and the "lowest of the low" by others.
My initial reaction was a resounding "UGH", mostly because I just do. not. like. reality TV. I find absolutely no pleasure, in fact quite the opposite, in watching the dumpster fire that is some people's lives play out in front of an audience, nor do I appreciate it for its ability to 'switch my brain off'. But after a lengthy internal monologue, my thoughts on Labor of Love are very complicated.
Finally, An Older Woman Dating Age-Appropriate Men
It's unfortunate, but a reality, that 41 is considered old in the entertainment industry. Unlike all the 20-somethings before her, our bachelorette is in her 40s, divorced, and dating age-appropriate men, aka 'dad-chelors', which is admittedly refreshing.
Kristy laments in the show's trailer that she's "aged out of the dating pool" to have her own family (which is by many accounts not true at all, just ask Julianne Moore or Cameron Diaz, who both got married at 42 and went on to have children), but it's understandable why she would feel this way.
"Either men my age have already ruled me out because they think I'm too old to have kids, or I go out with them and they assume I don't want a family," she tells the show's host and Sex And The City star Kristen Davis in the first episode teaser.
Yes, unjustly, women have the biological clock to contend with, and having a frank and open discussion with prospective partners about wanting children so early into a relationship can be a challenge. So, props to Kristy, she unashamedly knows what she wants and to be honest I’m rather sick of society judging women for doing what they want with their bodies, k?
Does It Trivialise Fertility?
Ooff, this is where it gets tricky.
When Married At First Sight was first teased to the Australian masses, the same-sex marriage law was yet to be passed. The argument made by some against allowing same-sex couples to wed was that it damaged the sanctity of marriage, yet it felt like MAFS, in which people who had never met or seen each other before could take 'vows', was a particular insult to the LGBTQ+ community. What's more damaging to the sanctity of marriage; two complete strangers for the sake of cheap entertainment and their 15 minutes of fame, or a loving, committed gay couple who had been living together for years?
In a similar vein, fertility can be a highly sensitive subject. Labor Of Love will probably be triggering for some women who can't, for whatever reason, have children. Perhaps they are endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome sufferers, or maybe they can't afford the very costly IVF treatment? It's tempting to frame this show as the ultimate insult to reproductively challenged women everywhere.
It also begs the question of the vetting process for contestants: are they all required to undergo invasive fertility tests to ensure viewers, and Kristy, get what they want? Yes, as it turns out. Kristy had her eggs frozen and all her prospective suitors were tested. But all for entertainment (and presumably for free), Kristy would have been granted access to top-notch medical professionals, which in the US especially, prices out all but the most privileged. The bottom line? The producers couldn't afford for this thing to fail, and that's a little unsettling, too.
Is This A Healthy Environment For A Child?
The number of children born into fractured, physically or emotionally abusive, neglectful, and otherwise unhealthy environments is a tragic statistic. In 2017, over 60,000 reports to child protective services in Australia were substantiated.
The concept of Labor Of Love might a little tacky, sure, but I'm hoping you'll forgive me when I say, rather timidly, circumstances could be a lot worse. Marrying someone you met off a dating app drew the same level of criticism and skepticism from our parents' generation, but Tinder weddings are less taboo now than ever.
Who's to say this won't be a huge success for parents and child? We just don't know, and we'll probably have to wait 15 years to find out on TMZ. All I can say is I hope Kristy finds what she's looking for.
This opinion piece was published on whimn.com.au on May 24, 2020.